Friday 31 May 2013

Friday Thought for the Week....




Every Friday I am endeavoring to come up with a post/quote/exercise to carry out that will give you some food for thought over the weekend that will help you towards your Quitting the 9 to 5 dream.

Click on the email box on the blog and this Friday thought will ping straight into your email box so you always get it - hurrah *ahem*.

So my Friday thought for today is along the themes that I have looked at this week:

If you could wake up happy and raring to go every Monday morning, what would have to be happening throughout your working week to make you feel this way?

Think about all the things that would make your workplace, you work colleagues, your customers and your job absolutely amazing. Picture it, walk around the office (or wherever you work) in your mind seeing happy faces and feel the excitement brewing as though you all know that this is the start of something fresh, new and adventurous. Keep this feeling as long as you can and repeat it throughout the weekend. I'll be doing it too!

Have a wonderful weekend! 

Love Nova xxx



Who are your Dream Makers?

I went on one of my favourite jaunts yesterday and visited our local Oxfam bookshop to stock up. I purchased a book I had been meaning to read for ages - 'Chicken Soup for the Soul'. I was genuinely uplifted by the stories in there and it got me thinking to all those people who along the way have uplifted me in some way or put me down. We won't dwell on the Dream Stealers, you can read more about that here.

The Dream Makers are people who have in some way (perhaps a small way, perhaps they didn't even know it) lifted you up, elevated you high enough to see the woods from the trees, supported you so you can keep going, believed in you when it looked like there was no hope, made you laugh when you felt down, encouraged you and patted you on the back to remind you of the small successes.

Here are some of my Dream Makers that came immediately to mind. Make your own list and keep it somewhere to remind you that there really are people willing to believe in you, who trust you or who want to see you smile.

These are in no particular order apart from the order in which they came to my mind when I scribbled them down last night!


1) Mrs Mould my teacher - She taught me Design Technology when I was at school and it was a subject I loved. I loved designing and planning so much that I wanted to take it at GCSE level. Unfortunately at the small school I attended at the time they just didn't offer it as a subject for GCSE, there weren't enough resources or people who wanted to do it. My parents and I talked about me changing schools so that I could do it but in the end it wasn't necessary because Mrs Mould came up with a solution. She would offer the GCSE to me and teach me, even if I was her only pupil. She took time out of her own free time to do this, I went to her house to learn, her husband taught me some of the woodworking skills I would need, she created the curriculum I would follow, everything. In the end it was me and a friend of mine who both took the course, we got individual tuition in the first year and by the second year more people had joined us and more people got to study something they loved. Mrs Mould took a chance, she used her own time to do it in, she persuaded the school to let her set up a whole new GCSE course and I got to stay at the school I loved and take a subject I loved. I will never forget how she was willing to help me follow my dreams. I still love designing and planning...and I still think that teachers can be some of the most amazing Dream Makers on the planet.


2) My friend Catherine - There was a time, a very hard time a number of years ago now, when I was really struggling. I had no money, no car, I was supporting my son on my own and I needed to turn my situation around FAST. One day my friend (who at the time I didn't even know that well and hadn't known for long) asked if I could meet her with her children for a day out at a local farm. She paid for us all to go in and sat me on a bench whilst the children played. She told me that she wanted to help me and that she knew that if she had asked I would say 'no' (she was right), so she had done it anyway and she wasn't asking, she was telling. She produced an envelope and a card from her bag and asked me to read the card. Inside it said only the words 'Let's dance the dance of life together'. In the envelope was £1200 of cash. She told me to buy a car with the money and get myself back on the road and to give myself the chance to make things better. She told me it was a gift, I never had to return it. I had no words. I left that money in a box for well over a month not even daring to look at it. I felt so guilty that I needed help, that it had come to a situation where people felt they needed to rescue me. Then one day I realised that perhaps it was insulting that I had ignored the money, that she had given something of herself that day that she was proud to give and that I would be being hurtful to return the money. I went out and bought a car. I took better car of that car than any other car I have ever owned. I loved it, it symbolised so much for me. I love her too, today she is one of my closest friends. She doesn't want the money back although I mention it all the time, she says if I want to pay it back it must be when I have fulfilled my dreams. I'm on track, she's given me the impetus, the faith and the trust - so now it will happen.


3) My Accountant - When I first met my accountant he had just started out. He was working from home running a small practice with a few clients. I found his details and liked the fact that he was a similar age to me and would know exactly what it was like to start out. He gave me a huge amount of support from the get go and always charged less than he should have done. When I asked him why he just shrugged his shoulders and said 'because I believe that one day you will make it big, I'm investing in you'. He had no reason to think this, I was only just starting out, but his belief (and continued belief) makes me keep trying and keep going.


4) My Dad - My Dad feels like he missed out on some of his own dreams, he didn't follow them or didn't feel he could pursue them. So he is determined to be a Dream Maker for me and my brother. He has always told me to go for my dreams (however far fetched) and he has never laughed at my ambitions or told me I was being unrealistic (there are plenty of other people to do that after all!). He shares all my posts on here, he bought my book and told everyone about it without adding 'but I have to say that' at the end when praising me. When I was acting (another big passion of mine) he took me to auditions and once when I was getting through round after round of auditions he waited in the car for about 5 hours (it may have been more).   He has never (openly) despaired of my journey through different ideas and different routes to get there, he has just said 'go for it'.


5) My Son - Yes all children love their parents and for a time when they are young think they can do anything, don't underestimate their power to give you wings however. My son always asks me 'when are you going to do your big business idea Mummy', as though it was just a given that one day I would come up with some amazing idea and that would be it for us, we would be made. That simplicity of faithful expectation that something absolutely would happen is very sustaining and inspiring. Listen to your kids, they know you better than you think and they believe in you more than anything, their faith in you is strong - believe in them too.


6) My Old Boss -  The Headteacher that I once worked for took a chance on me. I knew that to get back on my feet I would need a qualification behind me that would always be with me and I wanted it in an area that I felt passionate about. I am completely passionate about education, about helping children to become the best that they can be and teaching was something I knew I would enjoy. So I found out about a route into teaching that would allow me to train and earn money at the same time by being employed in a school for the duration. I stood by the school gates after dropping my son off one day, knowing that I would have to find a school that would be prepared to train me and pay part of my salary. I started chatting to the Headteacher and asked the question I had been dreading 'would you think about training me?' Her answer was simple 'yes, we'd love to, get the paperwork to me and I'll sign it'. Just like that! She trained me up (I was so happy at the chance that I worked really hard and ended up with an 'Outstanding' judgement at the end which helped the school too) and then gave me a job afterwards. She knows the reasons why I am now pursuing a different route and supports me in that too!


7) My Old Neighbour - When I first moved to a new house with just my son and I in the deep Dorset countryside it was a lot to take on and I never got around to being able to cut my grass because I was always really busy and I didn't have a decent lawn mower. One day I came home and saw that he had cut all my grass and trimmed all the hedges too. I went round with a bottle of wine to thank him, he just said he was happy to help, he could see I was busy and it was no problem to cut my grass too. He brought me eggs from his hens, beans from his veggie patch, got rid of wasps nests and checked for mice in my loft. He and his lovely wife just generally looked out for my son and I and although nowadays I have a gardener and have moved to a totally different area of the country I still think of them as angels who came to help me.


8) The Homeless Guy - I was in London once when I was younger and feeling pretty glum, I can't remember why. I was wondering around feeling like life was against me when I saw a man sat by the side of the road with a sign asking for money because he had no home. There was me ruminating about some trivial matter that I can't even remember now and here was a man with no home, on the streets begging for money. What stays with me most though is not the fact that he was homeless but that he smiled at me with the most infectious, happy and wonderful smile and said 'cheer up'. I gave him some money but he gave me much more, he took time to make someone else feel better when his own situation was far from ideal - I will never forget him, his smile, or the lesson he taught me that day.


9) The boy I hardly knew - When my parents divorced I felt pretty rubbish. I was not settling in well to the new school I had just moved to and my parents were constantly fighting at home, it didn't feel like there was anywhere safe to go. During a free period I was unable to settle to any work and must have looked like I couldn't concentrate. A boy called Kieren Potts was in the room too and asked me if I was ok. I told him I was (I didn't really know him after all) and carried on, but he knew different. He said 'no you are not, lets go for a walk'. We went out into the school grounds and he asked if I wanted to talk, I told him everything I was feeling as we walked along and he listened. We walked until the end of the free period and he just let me get everything off my chest. When we needed to go back he said that anytime I needed to talk I could come and find him. School ended not long after this and I lost touch with him but when Friend Reunited first came out I looked for him and found he was on there. I sent him a letter thanking him for that day, knowing that he would have no idea what it meant to me. Some people just know that you need to talk and they are happy to listen, even if they don't really know you from Adam.


10) You. You are taking a chance on me by reading this blog. You take a chance on many people, you trust them, listen to them, cheer them on and make them feel worthwhile in a million ways that you don't even know about. I hope through this blog to give whatever is useful of myself to help other people and to get them to engage with each other on here so that we can all share our experiences and make each other greater as a result.

The people I have listed on here are amazing, they have been ready to help, ready to support and I will always and have always done my best by them in return - that's what its all about to be human and to do more with our lives, helping one another 'in the dance of life' so we can all enjoy it more.

Who are your Dream Makers? Who are you grateful for in your life? Who has helped you along the way? What human moments have touched you and helped you remember how precious life is?

Love Nova xxx

www.lovelivingevents.co.uk
 

Thursday 30 May 2013

No one said it would be all plain sailing!




No that's right, no one ever did say that. But perhaps that's part of the problem? 

Perhaps that's what put you off in the first place? Maybe what you need is a bit of support? Maybe hearing that it will be difficult, that you will work harder than ever, that money will not flow easily into your bank account each month like a regular salary does, is not helpful?

I'm not saying all of that stuff is not true but every journey is different and you need to find your own truth instead of filling your head with negativity and bad expectations before you even start. You're a sensible person, you've considered all of the things that might happen already, it doesn't take a genius to work out that things might get tricky and that quitting the 9 to 5 might not be a bed of roses all the time. So instead of listening to more of the same scary thoughts try to replace them with positive ones and remember why you are doing this.

Before you start on your journey, or even right now wherever you are on your journey, remind yourself why you are doing this. Write it down. Get a piece of paper and write a letter to yourself outlining all the reasons why you have made this decision.

Maybe you are thinking, 'but I didn't make this decision, I have to do this because I was made redundant or because I am unemployed', that's ok, this applies to you too. Whether it seems that way or not you have got choices, you have the choice to stay where you are or to move forward, everyone has that choice and everyone has to make it.

So write the letter and tell yourself that you are doing this, you are embarking on this new choice for certain reasons and then write all of those reasons down like a list (or however you like). Make it a letter than inspires you later on when you need to remember what led you here, talk kindly to yourself.

Remember that the decisions you make now should say something about who you are, about what you believe in, about what you think is right. Understand what your values are and live by them and you won't go far wrong.

So if you believe that beautiful things make people feel better about themselves, then feel good about the fact that you want to become a fashion designer or a jewelry maker - you are living by your values.

The only reason that anyone consciously makes changes in their lives (and sometimes unconsciously - think about the job you hated and therefore didn't do well and consequently didn't progress in or eventually left - even though you needed the money), is because they are not currently happy where they are. Use this to your advantage...you, on some level, can be very happy that this is where you are because now you have a blank sheet, a new page and you can write on it something different to what went before.

What do you want your life and your work to say about you? What will your decisions say about you? Will you decide that this is a good thing or a bad thing?

So no, no one said it would be plain sailing but you have your reasons, you have your values, you have your own decisions to make and you can still sail, whatever the weather. 


What would you write to yourself about why you are doing this? Share your reasons and inspire others!

Love Nova xxx

Wednesday 29 May 2013

Service Swapping




I don't really like that term - bartering. It conjures up all kinds of weird images of shouting out offers for a sheep and negotiating the potential merits of a sheep versus a goat.

However, bartering is the friend of the start-up business and can really make the difference between success and the breadline. 

Lots of people I know, including myself, have made wonderful 'swaps' of their time to gain things that they would never normally be able to afford at this stage in their quitting the 9 to 5 journey. I know a friend who swaps aromatherapy treatments for gardening. The gardener gets a bad back from all the manual work he does so the massage really helps, in return she gets an hour of gardening work which means she does not have to take time out to do the weeding and mow the lawn which she hates doing anyway. This is an ideal swap. It serves both parties in an equal way and gives both of them a worthwhile service that they might otherwise be reluctant to pay for because it would be considered a luxury they could do without.

I myself have benefited from giving my accountant good quality referrals that have resulted in big business for them - in return I have had expert tax returns done for free. Another friend swapped piano lessons with another mum who does riding lessons, both their children wanted to start a new hobby that was relatively expensive but they were able to provide these lessons for them through bartering.

There are any number of ways that this can be done and sometimes they can be really big swaps - a holiday away in someones holiday home in return for training them in some area of expertise, a marketing plan for a venue in return for a massive discount on your wedding if you hold it there.

Think creatively about what you are able to offer. Think about your personal skills as well as your professional ones. Could you get your hair done for free if you bake them a cake because you are an amazing baker? Could you help someone organise their paperwork if they were able to take you to their next event where lots of contacts will be made?

What are the basic rules of bartering?


  • Make sure that the swap is equal (in either time or value or preferably both).



  • Make sure that you have got to know the person a little first (you both need to be able to trust each other and have faith in your abilities to do what you have promised).



  • Make sure that you are both clear on exactly what you are offering (if you are swapping time, you can both offer an hour for example, if you want them to design you a business card are you sure that you will be getting what you want from the card and not just any old thing?)



  • Make sure that you don't end up always offering to barter your services (your business needs cash flow as well).



  • Make sure you invest in the relationship and do a good job (do your very best work for them, you cannot afford to be slapdash unless you want a bad review of what you have done).


So what do you need and what can you offer in order to get it? Be creative and get bartering!!

What is the best bartering deal you have done?

Love Nova xxx

Why do we follow a life path we no longer want?




Well I had a very nice evening with a couple of friends last night. We got to talking about how they didn't really enjoy their jobs that much anymore and really wanted a change. It turns out that both of them have dreams of doing a completely different type of job I asked them why they are not then, doing these jobs? Why did they go down a completely different route instead? Their answer is the same one I hear all the time, because they didn't feel they would be able to follow their dreams and at the same time earn a living.

Certainly earning a living is non-negotiable for the vast majority of people who do not have other money to live off, but do we have to earn a living in a way that means we feel we have no real fun or passion or 'life'? No, we do not.

So what can be done about it? Can people really make the changes that they want in their lives and not have to risk their income to do it? Yes, they can. It does however require an element of risk, which can be planned for and therefore negated as much as possible, it does require a huge amount of work sometimes on top of the work you are already doing, but it is possible.

You have to be really excited about the changes, really positive about them and know that this is what you really want so that you are so passionate about getting going, that all the extra work doesn't seem like work at all, it seems like playtime and you can't wait to get up so you can start.

Start small and often - do the thing that you love to do in your spare time, do it when the kids are asleep, do it an hour before they wake up if that's better for you. Do it in your lunch hour, do it when you are travelling to work if you commute by train or bus, even if its just market research on your phone for ten mins. Spending time on it is essential to your levels of excitement - how can you get excited about something if you are never doing it or always putting it off for a more 'convenient' time? Then build up, do it more often, ask your employer if you can reduce your working hours or if maybe your partner could increase theirs for a short time (!)

Nothing is impossible. It's important to realise that no one is going to take charge of this for you, most people dislike change and you might come up against lots of opposition from those who will be affected by the changes (and even sometimes from those who won't!) but it's YOUR life, YOUR passion that is being forgotten, YOUR dreams that are being left by the wayside. Partners, children and friends will like the you that is finally giving voice to your passions because you will be happier, more relaxed, more content and that has to be good for everyone doesn't it?





Be happy, be passionate, be you and don't wait.

Have you followed your dreams? What is your dream job?

Tuesday 28 May 2013

What to do about the book signing??



So, I have a booking for a book signing, just a tiny one but a booking nonetheless. The problem is that I still have to pay (albeit at a much lower rate) for my own books and so I have to decide how much to outlay before I go. I'm thinking I'm only going to buy a small amount as its better to sell out and keep interest than to have some left over which means I will have to carry over the stock to the next event (not a good thing for cash flow). What happens at a book signing??! I've not been asked to do one before! Do people just come along and chat to you, buy a book and you sign it? Do you sign it with a message or not? Do you 'sell' in the same way as you would at a normal 'selling' event? Seems a bit arrogant to be flaunting my book around, or just a bit like getting my boobs out - it makes me feel all vulnerable! Must be something about books because I don't feel like that normally...books are so personal in many ways, they are a reflection of your inner meanderings through the world of imagination. Exposing yourself in this way is nerve wracking!!

Well I shall let you know how it goes (it's not till next month) and will publish my top tips afterwards for anyone wishing to learn more about doing the same thing!

Do you have any top tips to share?

Love Nova xxx

I missed the sun!!




So I've missed all the sun this weekend, having buried myself joyfully in work and now that I have decided to stop for a day it starts to rain...marvellous! I didn't even get my washing on the line, it's sat in the washing basket all damp and needs washing again....that'll teach me....

Making the most of your time is tricky no? Either you (or maybe it's just me) are working when you should be playing or playing when you should be working.

My theory was that whilst my son was at his Dad's for a bit of half term fun I would get loads done and have the rest of the holiday free to be a wonderfully perfect mother *ahem*. As it turns out I have done a ton of work but all of it has been Coaching work and none of it towards the other day job...arghhh.

So another day of work beckons before the boy returns tomorrow, this time its report writing, assessments, marking and planning...wish me luck and don't come close, that washing is starting to have a musty smell...

How are you getting on with the old work/life balance? Let me know!

Love Nova xxx


10 of the Best Books that could Change your Life (and an extra one for luck).



Do you want to read something that could potentially change your whole life? Then read on for my top 10 best books to read if you want to make changes. I have read all of these books and many more that I had to choose from, which was tricky! I have linked all the titles through to Amazon for ease if you wanted to purchase any of them or read more about them, that's the only reason for linking to Amazon, not because I think they are the best place to buy from! These are not in any particular order by the way, they are all good (in my opinion) but some will suit some more than others...


1. If you want to redefine where you are going in life read...


This is a classic and I read it at a very uncertain point in my life. It gave me the clarity of thought that I needed and it gave me a way to find a clear path through all the myriad of choices and dead ends. I went away for a weekend on my own and rented a cottage in Devon for a weekend. I locked myself away with a whole host of books and resolved not to leave until I had got a plan for what I was going to do next. This book stood out above all the rest and inspired me to make the next steps. It also quotes my great great great (not sure how many) Grandfather Samuel Smiles who wrote 'Self-Help' the first British look at having a positive mental attitude, this is not why I love it though, to see that you will have to read it yourself!


2. If you want to bring more money into your life and enjoy meditation and a spiritual approach read...



This is a book I have read twice, highlighted and followed up with purchases of their meditation MP3's. If you are into the law of attraction this will help you to take things a stage further and really open up to the spiritual laws that sit behind this. It is channeled book by Sanaya's guide Orin. It contains some great exercises for you to follow and work through. Read this if you are remotely interested in the spiritual side of making money.


3. If you like a chatty tone and enjoy hearing from someone who has followed their own advice read....




This was recommended to me many years ago by a Life Coach and the title really drew me to it. It has lots of links to the law of attraction again but it puts in a chatty way that most people can relate to.

4. If you want to discover a whole other pathway and a radical approach to life read...



A very interesting book that is the most personal Coelho has ever written. It is quite 'out there' so you need to be open minded and it's difficult to know how much is story and how much is 'real' but it makes for a mind expanding experience that can really allow you to think different and think bigger than ever before.

5. If you want to start a business and/or turn a business around read...



I would recommend this whole series in fact. I have read all of them and really enjoyed their practical advice and overall view of how hard it can be to set up in business and take on a quest to make lots of money.

6. If you want to learn more about the way the mind works and how you can use this to your advantage read...



I loved this combination of magic techniques, psychology and NLP. It gives you enormous insight into how we operate as humans and why we are influenced by certain things. If you want to learn more about why we do the things we do, learn a little about magic and a LOT about psychology then definitely have a read.

7. If you always wondered how the successful think read...



This classic is a must read if you want the insight into how the law of attraction has been around for eons (it is not named as this in the book but clearly it is about this) and how very successful people throughout history have used it to their advantage. This is a series of interviews essentially, learning the techniques of the greats.

8. If you have questions about life and death and what it all means read...



This is a beautiful series of books that many people have avoided because of the 'religious' title. I can assure you (if it puts you off), that this is not at all religious, in fact it is almost anti-religious in some ways. It is a work of philosophy that will blow your mind and you will want to read many times. I recommend starting with 'Conversations with God book 1' and working your way through. However, if you want just one of the series that will change your view on life and death completely then read Home with God, stunningly beautiful in every way.

9. If you want to be inspired after a loss or want to read a moving story read...



A spiritual story about a man whose daughter is missing, it is suspected that she has been murdered. Her father goes to the shack where they suspect that the murder may have taken place and he has a spiritual revelation that won't fail to move you to tears. 

10. If you want to know more about the science and psychology of happiness and how it can be applied to your own life read...



A wonderful book on the science and psychology of happiness. It is an easy to read book with lots of  insights into what Psychological studies have to say about happiness and how we can achieve it by following certain steps. The final chapter is a life affirming gem of an insight - if you read no other part of the book, read this last part on 'meaning and purpose'.



And now for the lucky extra book on the list!

11. If you want to be luckier read...



A look at the science and psychology of luck. Does luck really exist  Are some people really more lucky than others? Its seems that yes, maybe some people are, there are reasons for this though, reasons that you can emulate and in turn become more lucky yourself. A book full of interesting examples and studies that will have you bursting to give it a go yourself!


Have you read any of these? What did you think of them? What are your favourite inspirational reads? 

Love Nova xxx