Want to feel better quickly? RIGHT NOW?!
The quickest way to change anything is to interrupt your current thought process (the handshake interrupt hypnosis techniques works in this way). Here are some ways you can do that quickly and easily. They may seem silly (some of them are just pure silliness, that's the whole point).
1. Blast out some loud music.
Music is incredibly powerful. It can change the way you feel, literally in seconds. Find your favourite upbeat tune and blast it out as loudly as you can (in the car, at home, with earphones at work). If you are able to, have a dance too - seriously, fling yourself around the room a bit and dance as if no one is watching! Sing too - this is more than just you having a high old time, singing opens your lungs and improves your overall well being as a result. Try it - it works!
2. Find a gorgeous memory and relive it.
Find a touchstone memory, something that you use as a trigger to feel better. I have two favourite memories that I use whenever I need to instantly smile - the first is my son as a baby in total hysterics as he sat propped up on my bed whilst I made his Winnie-the-Pooh hand puppet do a silly dance. The second is a memory from when we lived in Monaco, he was in his cot for his nap and I could hear him laughing. I crept to the door and pushed it open a bit, I could see him lying in his cot chuckling away at goodness knows what, he was totally in his own world and having a lovely time, whatever he was thinking about or seeing was the most hilarious thing ever. I smile as I recall these even now. Find your own touchstone memories and use them whenever you need to.
3. Fake it!
Take a deep breath and smile, you don't need to feel happy to do this, you can feel as glum as you like, but breathe and smile anyway, the muscles moving will fool your brain and you will actually feel better as a result. Make it as genuine a smile as you can (no smirking now), add a little chuckle if you can. After all, what have you got to lose? You can frown again after if you like but I guarantee you won't feel like as much anymore.
4. Make fun of yourself.
You know that mum thing when a child is in a stinker of a mood and you start to turn into Harry Enfields 'Kevin' to emulate them? No? Oh...well try it - my son can't help but laugh when I start to have a pretend tantrum! Do this to yourself, take your current mood and exaggerate it until it becomes totally ridiculous. Turn your 'I can't do this' into a full on strop, really go for it, stamp your feet a little (even if you just imagine yourself doing all this) and finally throw yourself on the sofa in defeat. Then see yourself from afar, have your objective adult self stand over in the corner of the room watching this display of behaviour and have a little laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. Then take a deep breath, smile and relax a little.
5. Have a Penguin orgasm.
This is all about finding a little 'feel good' that interrupts you long enough to start to change the way you feel. It can be anything that works for you. Back to the Penguin orgasm though...Get a Penguin chocolate bar and a cup of tea or coffee, bite off the two diagonally opposite corners of the Penguin bar and dip one end into your hot drink. Suck the other bitten off corner of the Penguin bar until the tea or coffee comes through. Then, IMMEDIATELY turn the biscuit round (if you don't, it will fall into your drink and you will need to fish it out and look a bit silly) so that you bite into the part that has been dipped in the drink and....enjoy!!
6. Tap your Chest.
Yep, really. EFT is a technique to relieve emotional blockages and quickly change the way that you feel. There is a spot in the centre of your chest (about a palm sized length down from the middle of where your collarbone meets under your throat). If you lightly tap here with as many fingers as feels right to you, it can instantly reduce feelings of panic or worry. You can intersperse this with a downward stroking motion as well. Do this as often as you need to.
7. Repeat this mantra.
I went through a really difficult time a few years ago and a lovely lady I met told me that what had helped her was to say and to fully believe the words 'This too shall pass'. I tried it and I still use it and pass it on as advice to others even now. It's simple but its utterly true and sometimes you just need reminding that whatever is going on in your life and however you feel, it will pass, it can do nothing else, it will change, it will leave your life and/or change form, it's not forever. Remind yourself of this and repeat it like a mantra if it feels right to do so.
8. Do something unexpected.
This can take endless forms so experiment with what works for you and keep changing it (otherwise it's no longer unexpected of course!). It can be something really small as long as it stops your brain in its tracks which is the goal. Once you have stopped the thinking pattern that you are in you have the space, however small, to start doing things differently. Changing is about making things different and you can do this in a number of tiny ways to get started:
The idea is that you stop and re-start your brain. If you are in zombie mode and have no motivation this is a good way to interrupt this mode and have the space to make a different choice about how you go about your day. The point is not for the interruption to change you but for it to give you the space as a marker to remind you that you have a choice about how you feel. Follow this marker up with one of the other tips to make that space for change into a real change for the better.
9. Watch a videos of humans being amazing.
It always makes me feel a million times better when I watch people being inspiring, loving, going the extra mile for complete strangers, anything that reminds me that human beings are extraordinary and that, being a human myself, I can be too if I just put my mind to it. Here are a couple of my favourites to get you started but search and share your own and make everyone feel better!
10. Remind yourself that you are loved.
There are always people who love and care about you, even if sometimes it might feel like there isn't, these people can even be strangers. When you feel alone or despondent you need to be reminded that others are there for you. So pick up the phone and call someone you love, you don't need to even tell them what is going on, you might just need to be reminded that they are only a phone call away. Read a letter from someone who loves you, look at a photo of someone who makes you smile, log on to an online community and tell them how you are feeling. Connecting with others is what sustains us, reminds us that we are part of something bigger and ultimately helps us to realise that there is always someone out there willing to listen and to help.
11. Play a practical joke.
Not at the expense of people who will be upset or humiliated - obviously! Sometimes though making a tit out of yourself by playing a joke can be the respite you need. I watched a programme recently (can't remember for the life of me what it was called...if you know it tell me!) and it was a group of comedians who were all dared by the others to do silly things. They had to dance in the street and try to get someone to join in, they had to get someone in a bookshop to repeat a stupid word, all kinds of silly things. The funniest part was that they were prepared to put themselves in those embarrassing situations, it upped their adrenaline levels, made them do something out of their comfort zone and ultimately made them (and others) laugh, a lot!
12. Do a yoga pose.
There are lots of wonderful poses in Yoga that can instantly make you feel better. My favourite one is the Tree pose. Here is how to do it:
Start with your feet together, rooted to the ground, and slowly raise one foot. Rest it on your calf or thigh. Your hands Start with your feet together, rooted to the ground, and slowly raise one foot. Rest it on your calf or thigh. Your hands go from prayer position, straight up, above your shoulders. Trees sway and so will you -- but you'll get stronger with practice. Repeat on the other leg.go from prayer position, straight up, above your shoulders. Trees sway and so will you -- but you'll get stronger with practice. Repeat on the other leg.
For more information on great, quick yoga poses to try have a look at these websites:
http://womenworld.org/health/instant-energy---get-a-boost-with-this-invigorating,-10-minute-yoga-routine.aspx
http://www.halifaxcourier.co.uk/news/lifestyle/lifestyle-leisure/how-yoga-can-help-you-to-recharge-your-energy-levels-1-5531538
13. Do something naughty!
If you are like me and occasionally enjoy being a bit rebellious then this is one for you! I'm not talking about going out and robbing a bank or doing something that would be harmful to yourself or others. Don't do anything that may harm another, emotional upset too is included in this disclaimer. I just mean break the little pointless rules a little, even if they are only your own self-imposed rules! If you are not really allowed to sneak out for a break at work, just go and do it, feel really naughty and then resolve not to make a habit out of it! If you don't allow yourself chocolate on a weekday (really?) then buy yourself your favourite bar and enjoy every second of having it. This is not about feeling like you have let yourself down afterwards either so it's REALLY important that you enjoy it and have every intention of fully enjoying it. If you think you might feel terrible afterwards then don't do it, pick another thing to make yourself feel better. My favourite naughty things to do (don't judge me...) involve walking on grass I'm not allowed to walk on, pretending I want to buy a house so I can nose around it, pretending I am a spy (I have been known to roll over the front of cars like a spy does...they do that right??) and many more silly, harmless things that make me feel like I am doing something I shouldn't for a moment and reminding myself that really, the only rules I have to keep are the moral and legal ones that keep our society safe and upstanding.
14. Achieve a goal
Achieving even the smallest of goals can make you feel hugely better about yourself and leads to more things getting done on the back of that lift to your spirit. If you have been meaning to clear out a cupboard for ages then get it done, it won't take long (unless you are talking about a walk-in wardrobe sized cupboard) and you will feel such an energetic burst of achievement afterwards that you will probably keep on going and get loads done! Try to start with something that isn't emotionally draining first - don't make that scary phone call straight off, achieve something less worrying first and then you will feel more prepared and confident when making that call.
15. Read something that inspires you.
It doesn't have to be an entire book, finding enough time to devote to feeling better by reading a whole book can be tricky. Find a quote that you like and keep it somewhere that you will come across it often, maybe in your purse or wallet, by your bed, on the bathroom mirror and read it when you need to smile or feel better. Find a poem that moves you if that's more your thing. Something short and sweet that can bring instant relief from your current state of mind.
Here is a quote that I love from the actress Emma Thompson:
'You have to let yourself drop the ball and make mistakes. If you're going to be alive, you're going to mess up, human beings do that. If you try to keep all the balls in the air it will kill something in you'.
So bloody true!!
16. Splash your face and brush your teeth.
This may not seem like your typical advice for changing your feelings but it is another method of interrupting your current thought pattern and it has the power to wipe them clean off. You are effectively telling yourself that this is a clean slate time for your emotions. Whatever you have been feeling you are now washing it away. The energy that will come from the cold water and the zing of the toothpaste is surprisingly powerful. You can do this at any time and it is very simple. Think about when you are going out in the evening after a day at work (lucky you!), you would clean your teeth and wash before going out marking the difference between the working day and the fresh start of your evening. It is the same thing of marking a point in time when things are changing.
17. Get outside!
Yes nature has power! Sunlight is a necessary ingredient for humans to be able to thrive and we just don't get the same Vitamin D intake from any alternative sources of light. The energy that is emitted from all living things can be strongest when you are in the countryside so if you can get outside in the countryside or just in a park then so much the better. Take deep breaths, move your body, sit in stillness, whatever feels right to you but it can be such a change and shift in your normal surroundings that it is enough to make you feel calmer and more aware that there is a bigger world out there that can make our own problems seem less of a burden to us.
18. Throw a plate.
Not joking. If you need to release anger or frustration quickly and change the way that you feel then find something that you don't mind breaking and then throw the thing! Of course you have to make sure that there is no one around and you should throw it somewhere that will not damage anything including yourself. A garage floor can be a good place, a patio (away from any glass) anywhere safe for you to do this exercise. Failing this you can wrap a plate in a tea towel and bash it with a hammer onto a surface that can take it (not on your best table...). This releases your feelings and allows them an outlet that doesn't harm you or others (again, you should never do this when anyone is around and flinging things at the wall in uncontrollable anger is absolutely not what I am talking about, if you feel this way please seek help from a GP).
19. Cause another to feel great.
Yes you might be in the doldrums yourself but if you make someone else feel happy or feel better there is a funny osmosis process that takes place and in return for this you feel better too. I have had times where I have felt really down and then a friend has rung needing a chat and to let off steam or have a cry, after helping them to feel better I have in turn felt better myself. The theory behind this is that it takes your mind off your own problems for a while and refocuses you in a different direction. Also by helping someone else to feel better you are telling your subconscious that you are a worthwhile person with purpose and you respond accordingly becoming that person on a grander scale than before. You can do little things for people even if they don't happen to phone at the crucial time, a friend of mine always pays the toll fee for her car and for the car behind when they go on holiday and have to pay tolls on the roads - it makes her feel wonderful. Another scheme that I heard about recently was people paying for their own coffee and also paying for another coffee for a stranger in the future, they pay into a 'suspended coffee' order which someone without the funds for a nice warm drink can claim. Read more about this here:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2301855/Charity-coffee-scheme-launches-UK-lets-drinkers-donate-lattes-need.html
20. Play!
All these tips are about playing really. They are about allowing yourself to relax enough to just remember that even though you are a full-fledged adult, you still have the right to play and have fun. It can feel really embarrassing at first so maybe do this when you are alone at first - or with a child, they LOVE it when you play. One thing I love about being a teacher is that it gives me license to be completely insanely silly sometimes all in the name of making the children smile again when the going is tough. They think it is wonderful when your serious persona drops for a while and they see that you are really quite normal underneath it all. Parents know this too, they can think of nothing better than you pretending to be a horse or a dragon for a while, when you chase them around the house with a contorted face and pretend that you are the tickle monster. Give playing a go. Watch this video too - it never fails to make me laugh!
2. Find a gorgeous memory and relive it.
Find a touchstone memory, something that you use as a trigger to feel better. I have two favourite memories that I use whenever I need to instantly smile - the first is my son as a baby in total hysterics as he sat propped up on my bed whilst I made his Winnie-the-Pooh hand puppet do a silly dance. The second is a memory from when we lived in Monaco, he was in his cot for his nap and I could hear him laughing. I crept to the door and pushed it open a bit, I could see him lying in his cot chuckling away at goodness knows what, he was totally in his own world and having a lovely time, whatever he was thinking about or seeing was the most hilarious thing ever. I smile as I recall these even now. Find your own touchstone memories and use them whenever you need to.
3. Fake it!
Take a deep breath and smile, you don't need to feel happy to do this, you can feel as glum as you like, but breathe and smile anyway, the muscles moving will fool your brain and you will actually feel better as a result. Make it as genuine a smile as you can (no smirking now), add a little chuckle if you can. After all, what have you got to lose? You can frown again after if you like but I guarantee you won't feel like as much anymore.
4. Make fun of yourself.
You know that mum thing when a child is in a stinker of a mood and you start to turn into Harry Enfields 'Kevin' to emulate them? No? Oh...well try it - my son can't help but laugh when I start to have a pretend tantrum! Do this to yourself, take your current mood and exaggerate it until it becomes totally ridiculous. Turn your 'I can't do this' into a full on strop, really go for it, stamp your feet a little (even if you just imagine yourself doing all this) and finally throw yourself on the sofa in defeat. Then see yourself from afar, have your objective adult self stand over in the corner of the room watching this display of behaviour and have a little laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. Then take a deep breath, smile and relax a little.
5. Have a Penguin orgasm.
This is all about finding a little 'feel good' that interrupts you long enough to start to change the way you feel. It can be anything that works for you. Back to the Penguin orgasm though...Get a Penguin chocolate bar and a cup of tea or coffee, bite off the two diagonally opposite corners of the Penguin bar and dip one end into your hot drink. Suck the other bitten off corner of the Penguin bar until the tea or coffee comes through. Then, IMMEDIATELY turn the biscuit round (if you don't, it will fall into your drink and you will need to fish it out and look a bit silly) so that you bite into the part that has been dipped in the drink and....enjoy!!
6. Tap your Chest.
Yep, really. EFT is a technique to relieve emotional blockages and quickly change the way that you feel. There is a spot in the centre of your chest (about a palm sized length down from the middle of where your collarbone meets under your throat). If you lightly tap here with as many fingers as feels right to you, it can instantly reduce feelings of panic or worry. You can intersperse this with a downward stroking motion as well. Do this as often as you need to.
7. Repeat this mantra.
I went through a really difficult time a few years ago and a lovely lady I met told me that what had helped her was to say and to fully believe the words 'This too shall pass'. I tried it and I still use it and pass it on as advice to others even now. It's simple but its utterly true and sometimes you just need reminding that whatever is going on in your life and however you feel, it will pass, it can do nothing else, it will change, it will leave your life and/or change form, it's not forever. Remind yourself of this and repeat it like a mantra if it feels right to do so.
8. Do something unexpected.
This can take endless forms so experiment with what works for you and keep changing it (otherwise it's no longer unexpected of course!). It can be something really small as long as it stops your brain in its tracks which is the goal. Once you have stopped the thinking pattern that you are in you have the space, however small, to start doing things differently. Changing is about making things different and you can do this in a number of tiny ways to get started:
- When you go to put your coffee cup down, stop. Stop midway just before you put it down. Hold your coffee cup there and decide to do something different instead. Either put it somewhere different to where you expected to put it, or put it down and immediately do something different to what you were about to do.
- When you open a door stop. Stop and look at somewhere in the room that you never look at, look at the ceiling, at a crack in the wall, behind the door. Anywhere that you don't normally look.
- When you pick something up, look at it from a different angle to how you would normally look at it, turn it over, turn it upside down, look at it with one eye shut.
The idea is that you stop and re-start your brain. If you are in zombie mode and have no motivation this is a good way to interrupt this mode and have the space to make a different choice about how you go about your day. The point is not for the interruption to change you but for it to give you the space as a marker to remind you that you have a choice about how you feel. Follow this marker up with one of the other tips to make that space for change into a real change for the better.
9. Watch a videos of humans being amazing.
It always makes me feel a million times better when I watch people being inspiring, loving, going the extra mile for complete strangers, anything that reminds me that human beings are extraordinary and that, being a human myself, I can be too if I just put my mind to it. Here are a couple of my favourites to get you started but search and share your own and make everyone feel better!
10. Remind yourself that you are loved.
There are always people who love and care about you, even if sometimes it might feel like there isn't, these people can even be strangers. When you feel alone or despondent you need to be reminded that others are there for you. So pick up the phone and call someone you love, you don't need to even tell them what is going on, you might just need to be reminded that they are only a phone call away. Read a letter from someone who loves you, look at a photo of someone who makes you smile, log on to an online community and tell them how you are feeling. Connecting with others is what sustains us, reminds us that we are part of something bigger and ultimately helps us to realise that there is always someone out there willing to listen and to help.
11. Play a practical joke.
Not at the expense of people who will be upset or humiliated - obviously! Sometimes though making a tit out of yourself by playing a joke can be the respite you need. I watched a programme recently (can't remember for the life of me what it was called...if you know it tell me!) and it was a group of comedians who were all dared by the others to do silly things. They had to dance in the street and try to get someone to join in, they had to get someone in a bookshop to repeat a stupid word, all kinds of silly things. The funniest part was that they were prepared to put themselves in those embarrassing situations, it upped their adrenaline levels, made them do something out of their comfort zone and ultimately made them (and others) laugh, a lot!
12. Do a yoga pose.
There are lots of wonderful poses in Yoga that can instantly make you feel better. My favourite one is the Tree pose. Here is how to do it:
Start with your feet together, rooted to the ground, and slowly raise one foot. Rest it on your calf or thigh. Your hands Start with your feet together, rooted to the ground, and slowly raise one foot. Rest it on your calf or thigh. Your hands go from prayer position, straight up, above your shoulders. Trees sway and so will you -- but you'll get stronger with practice. Repeat on the other leg.go from prayer position, straight up, above your shoulders. Trees sway and so will you -- but you'll get stronger with practice. Repeat on the other leg.
For more information on great, quick yoga poses to try have a look at these websites:
http://womenworld.org/health/instant-energy---get-a-boost-with-this-invigorating,-10-minute-yoga-routine.aspx
http://www.halifaxcourier.co.uk/news/lifestyle/lifestyle-leisure/how-yoga-can-help-you-to-recharge-your-energy-levels-1-5531538
13. Do something naughty!
If you are like me and occasionally enjoy being a bit rebellious then this is one for you! I'm not talking about going out and robbing a bank or doing something that would be harmful to yourself or others. Don't do anything that may harm another, emotional upset too is included in this disclaimer. I just mean break the little pointless rules a little, even if they are only your own self-imposed rules! If you are not really allowed to sneak out for a break at work, just go and do it, feel really naughty and then resolve not to make a habit out of it! If you don't allow yourself chocolate on a weekday (really?) then buy yourself your favourite bar and enjoy every second of having it. This is not about feeling like you have let yourself down afterwards either so it's REALLY important that you enjoy it and have every intention of fully enjoying it. If you think you might feel terrible afterwards then don't do it, pick another thing to make yourself feel better. My favourite naughty things to do (don't judge me...) involve walking on grass I'm not allowed to walk on, pretending I want to buy a house so I can nose around it, pretending I am a spy (I have been known to roll over the front of cars like a spy does...they do that right??) and many more silly, harmless things that make me feel like I am doing something I shouldn't for a moment and reminding myself that really, the only rules I have to keep are the moral and legal ones that keep our society safe and upstanding.
14. Achieve a goal
Achieving even the smallest of goals can make you feel hugely better about yourself and leads to more things getting done on the back of that lift to your spirit. If you have been meaning to clear out a cupboard for ages then get it done, it won't take long (unless you are talking about a walk-in wardrobe sized cupboard) and you will feel such an energetic burst of achievement afterwards that you will probably keep on going and get loads done! Try to start with something that isn't emotionally draining first - don't make that scary phone call straight off, achieve something less worrying first and then you will feel more prepared and confident when making that call.
15. Read something that inspires you.
It doesn't have to be an entire book, finding enough time to devote to feeling better by reading a whole book can be tricky. Find a quote that you like and keep it somewhere that you will come across it often, maybe in your purse or wallet, by your bed, on the bathroom mirror and read it when you need to smile or feel better. Find a poem that moves you if that's more your thing. Something short and sweet that can bring instant relief from your current state of mind.
Here is a quote that I love from the actress Emma Thompson:
'You have to let yourself drop the ball and make mistakes. If you're going to be alive, you're going to mess up, human beings do that. If you try to keep all the balls in the air it will kill something in you'.
So bloody true!!
16. Splash your face and brush your teeth.
This may not seem like your typical advice for changing your feelings but it is another method of interrupting your current thought pattern and it has the power to wipe them clean off. You are effectively telling yourself that this is a clean slate time for your emotions. Whatever you have been feeling you are now washing it away. The energy that will come from the cold water and the zing of the toothpaste is surprisingly powerful. You can do this at any time and it is very simple. Think about when you are going out in the evening after a day at work (lucky you!), you would clean your teeth and wash before going out marking the difference between the working day and the fresh start of your evening. It is the same thing of marking a point in time when things are changing.
17. Get outside!
Yes nature has power! Sunlight is a necessary ingredient for humans to be able to thrive and we just don't get the same Vitamin D intake from any alternative sources of light. The energy that is emitted from all living things can be strongest when you are in the countryside so if you can get outside in the countryside or just in a park then so much the better. Take deep breaths, move your body, sit in stillness, whatever feels right to you but it can be such a change and shift in your normal surroundings that it is enough to make you feel calmer and more aware that there is a bigger world out there that can make our own problems seem less of a burden to us.
18. Throw a plate.
Not joking. If you need to release anger or frustration quickly and change the way that you feel then find something that you don't mind breaking and then throw the thing! Of course you have to make sure that there is no one around and you should throw it somewhere that will not damage anything including yourself. A garage floor can be a good place, a patio (away from any glass) anywhere safe for you to do this exercise. Failing this you can wrap a plate in a tea towel and bash it with a hammer onto a surface that can take it (not on your best table...). This releases your feelings and allows them an outlet that doesn't harm you or others (again, you should never do this when anyone is around and flinging things at the wall in uncontrollable anger is absolutely not what I am talking about, if you feel this way please seek help from a GP).
19. Cause another to feel great.
Yes you might be in the doldrums yourself but if you make someone else feel happy or feel better there is a funny osmosis process that takes place and in return for this you feel better too. I have had times where I have felt really down and then a friend has rung needing a chat and to let off steam or have a cry, after helping them to feel better I have in turn felt better myself. The theory behind this is that it takes your mind off your own problems for a while and refocuses you in a different direction. Also by helping someone else to feel better you are telling your subconscious that you are a worthwhile person with purpose and you respond accordingly becoming that person on a grander scale than before. You can do little things for people even if they don't happen to phone at the crucial time, a friend of mine always pays the toll fee for her car and for the car behind when they go on holiday and have to pay tolls on the roads - it makes her feel wonderful. Another scheme that I heard about recently was people paying for their own coffee and also paying for another coffee for a stranger in the future, they pay into a 'suspended coffee' order which someone without the funds for a nice warm drink can claim. Read more about this here:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2301855/Charity-coffee-scheme-launches-UK-lets-drinkers-donate-lattes-need.html
20. Play!
All these tips are about playing really. They are about allowing yourself to relax enough to just remember that even though you are a full-fledged adult, you still have the right to play and have fun. It can feel really embarrassing at first so maybe do this when you are alone at first - or with a child, they LOVE it when you play. One thing I love about being a teacher is that it gives me license to be completely insanely silly sometimes all in the name of making the children smile again when the going is tough. They think it is wonderful when your serious persona drops for a while and they see that you are really quite normal underneath it all. Parents know this too, they can think of nothing better than you pretending to be a horse or a dragon for a while, when you chase them around the house with a contorted face and pretend that you are the tickle monster. Give playing a go. Watch this video too - it never fails to make me laugh!
Have fun and feel better soon. What do you do to feel happy?
Love Nova xxx
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