Friday 25 September 2015

Reclaiming your Mojo Coaching Call - Part 4




So this is your fourth and final part of the Coaching Call series on Reclaiming your Mojo from my Radio show on South Waves Radio. I hope that it has been really helpful to you and that it has given you some clarity and ideas on how to proceed and to feel really energised and excited about life again!

If you would like to take this work further or if  you would like Coaching on any area in your life please get in touch or book your free Coaching Call 45min slot with me.

If you would like to find out more about my packages you can click through to the links that tell you more about each one:

Great for anyone who wants to integrate Spiritual Guidance with a practical plan for moving forward

Great for those who want to achieve a huge amount in a short space of time and within a luxury setting

Great for anyone who wants to work specifically on self esteem over a six week period

Great for anyone who knows that there is one of more areas of their live where they are no longer feeling the love or when they know they are not living the life they would really love to live, this three month package looks at all the areas of your life where you want to make changes.

Enjoy the final episode in this series and here's to reclaiming your mojo!

Thursday 24 September 2015

Reclaim your Mojo Coaching Call - Part 3




Welcome to part three of the Coaching Call series from my Radio Show slot on Reclaiming your Mojo! Hopefully if you are following along you have already got some great ideas and clarity from this four part course...looking forward to delivering the fourth and final part tomorrow.

If you already know that you want to Reclaim your Mojo and want to find out how I can help you take this to the next level then why not book a free 45 min slot to clarify how my soulful approach can help you get that balance and wellbeing that you so want to feel again. Have you looked at my Spiritual Balance Coaching and how it all works yet? Have a look here to find out more about how my bespoke approach can work for you.

Enjoy the third episode and hope that your mojo is already returning!


Wednesday 23 September 2015

Reclaim your Mojo Coaching Call - Part 2



Here is part two of the Coaching Call series for Reclaiming your Mojo!! Packed full of practical ideas, suggestions and exercises to try out from my Radio Show Slot! Enjoy!

Remember that if you would like to book a free Coaching Call with me to discover how you can Reclaim your Mojo you can book your free 45 min session here




Tuesday 22 September 2015

Reclaim your Mojo Coaching Call - Part 1



I have a weekly radio show on South Waves Radio and have recently done a four part series of Coaching Calls to help you Reclaim your Mojo!

Here is part one of a series of four for you to follow if you missed the show...these four Coaching Calls will show you how to find yourself again and work through the things that might be holding you back. They are packed full of info and exercises for you to try - have a listen and see if they can help you feel amazing again.

It's not just for radio this stuff though! You can work with me personally too and it all starts with a free Coaching Call to see where you are now and where you would like to be...if you would like to book your free slot with me to discuss your situation and get some answers then please click the link below to find a time slot that suits you to talk over Skype or the good old telephone for 45 mins with me.


Wednesday 16 September 2015

10 Steps to Dream Interpretation - How it can uncover your secret blocks!



dream interpretation

No one really knows the reason that we dream...we are unsure of its purpose, if it even has a purpose, what it might mean and whether it is ever useful to us to look at them further.

Whatever you feel about the reasons behind dreaming I have found it to be a very useful tool in uncovering some of our more hidden thoughts and feelings. Dream interpretation was covered in my training as a Psychotherapist and I have used it on myself and my clients many times when a significant dream has been remembered and the insights can be quite astonishing.

So - how can you interpret your dreams and find out what insights they might hold for you? 

1) Begin by writing down as much as possible about what you remember.
I have a special journal for this purpose as keeping all your dream notes together in one place can help you pick out patterns and themes that can be very interesting to look at over time.

dream interpretation

2) Note down everything that you felt in the dream too.
The feelings, colours and thoughts that surrounded your dream are a key part of discovering more about it's meaning. If you had a dream where you were flying and felt very frightened this would have a very different meaning to a dream where the same event occurred but you felt free and joyous (as a simple example).

3) Next look at all the characters in your dream that where there.
Are they people you know? Strangers? What were their characteristics in the dream, did they look different but in the dream you knew it was a certain person? Were they someone you have not thought of for a while, someone you don't like, someone who was dressed in a completely different way to how you normally see them? Write it all down, every detail that you can remember.

4) How did you appear in the dream?
What age were you? Were you in the dream at all? What role did you take in the dream? Were you powerful, afraid, concerned, did you take the role of leader in the events, the role of the nurturer? Understanding who you are in the dream is a key indicator of what you are feeling - whether that is that you wish to be more like the person in the dream or less like them!

5) The Gestalt theory of dream interpretation.
This theory takes every object, person and event in a dream and looks at how this is an aspect of the self. I had a very interesting session when I was training where I had a dream about a robot - we looked at the idea of 'if I am the robot, how does that mean I am feeling?' I could then look at the automated response, the shut down of emotions and the metal barrier that formed the robot and use that to look at how I might BE the robot in my life and then to decide whether I accepted this idea or wanted to change it. Have a go at looking for significant objects in your dream and seeing how they might be a reflection of you - if you have a dream about a sink (for example), how might this reflect you at the moment? Are you letting things slip away down the metaphorical plug hole? Do you want to clean things up in your life? Do you need refreshing with the purity of water? Do you want to contain something in your life that seems to be to fluid to capture and hold onto? Are you the container for someone else's or your own feelings? Are you the person who cleans up others mess? What does a sink mean for you? Look at your own feelings within the dream to match it with your interpretation.

6)  Draw some of the significant surroundings for your dream.
I make lots of sketches in my journal of doorways or gates or rooms that at the time felt significant so that I can remember them and interpret them later. I look at all kinds of things within these sketches - how old was the door, it is crumbing, inviting, closed, open, is there darkness beyond or light? Am I feeling worried about going through the door or excited? Will the door open for me? Is there a key? Hopefully you are beginning to see how even the smallest of details can build up a really important and deep picture for you.

7) Make a note of anything you remember saying in the dream.
I once wrote in my journal a line that I spoke that to me felt like it was very 'telling' of my situation even though I didn't immediately know how to interpret it - I had said 'It is safer for you to go down first as it isn't too far to fall if the stairs collapsed'. I wrote this down and then came back to look at it once I had scribbled down the rest of the dream. I also noted that the staircase was spiraled and that there was a lever on the stairs that you had to pull in order to reveal more of the staircase. I later interpreted my words to show my fear of taking the lead incase I had the responsibility of the whole thing collapsing around me, I also realised that this was because I couldn't see the whole of the journey in front of me yet and didn't enjoy this feeling of treading into the unknown. The lever was a call to action that would show me the way if I was brave enough to take that action instead of just watching others do it.

8) Dreams that seem really worrying are not always what they seem.
I once had a horrendous dream that I had killed someone, I had poisoned them and then hidden the body and lived in total fear of being found out. The police came round to investigate and I was terrified of what was going to happen - they went to the cupboard where I had hidden the body and it was nowhere to be seen. I couldn't understand it and wondered if I had imagined the whole thing but knew that it was real...I awoke from that dream and it stayed with me all day - even now I can recall it vividly and this dream was about 15 years ago! It was not a dream about me wanting to murder this person though, nor was it a repressed memory where I had done something awful and my subconscious was reminding me of it...it was a dream of being found out...the old imposter syndrome feeling...it took quite a lot of careful looking and analysing to realise that though!

9) Choose your Dreams wisely.
Dreams that you wake up and think - wow, that was odd or that was epic or that was bizzare are probably the ones you want to look at. I have had dreams where I have woken up in hysterics because they are so hilarious (actually they normally aren't hilarious at all...I once had a dream that I got my foot stuck in a sink as I walked past it...apart from this being physically impossible it wasn't at all funny when I recounted it to someone else and yet I could not stop laughing when I awoke!!) and these are nice to note down too but they may not tell you as much about yourself as the dream where the huge yellow and red spiders are chasing you.

10) Look for the patterns.
When you look back at your journal and see the ways in which dreams have common themes you can start to pull together a picture of what is going on in your subconscious that you may want to deal with. If you have a similar feeling running through your dreams (fear) for example, or you often dream about doorways, or you regularly dream of a notebook you used to have then make that a priority for further exploration.

11) As a bonus tip...Sometimes there is just no explaining dreams.
I had a reoccurring dream about a room in my childhood home that no one knew about, it would change form as a room but the common theme was that it was a hidden room, that it was full of papers and documents and that I would always be amazed to discover it. The funny thing is, not so long ago, I met the woman who is now living in my childhood home and she told me after many years of living there they had found a room they knew nothing about and it was full of books and papers...what do you make of that??!

What is the strangest or most significant dream you have ever had? Maybe we can explore it together and look at what it might mean for you...You could even look at this in a FREE discovery session with me. Click below to book your session and happy dreaming!!

 
Love Nova xxx

Monday 14 September 2015

Spiritual Balance Coaching - What is it and How can it Help You?



So what is Spiritual Balance Coaching?

Spiritual Balance Coaching is my own brand and blend of Coaching, Counselling and Spirituality. It has been developed over several years and has so far only been used exclusively on retreats. It is a very personalised approach to your Coaching which involves creating a spiritual experince within your coaching journey. Sessions will introduce:

  • personalised meditations,
  • card readings,
  • reiki healing,
  • Bach Flower Remedies
  • EFT sessions

depending on what is right for you and where the sessions guide us to go. Your own 'prescription' of sessions will be created with you at the very beginning to outline 5 powerful and meaningful sessions. This is blended with Coaching and Counselling techniques to bring you a truely unique experience matched to your current state and with your desired outcomes in mind.


Who is it for?

If you have been thinking about making changes in your life or know you have reached a point where SOMETHING HAS to change and you also know that to do this you want to approach it from a holistic point of view - with thought to what is meant for you from the Universe then this is an approach that may suit you well. Do you want to:

Find out why a relationship is experiencing difficulties and resolve this?
Find love?
Explore a business idea?
Find out who you are and what you are meant to do?
Regain your love of life and feel in control of your destiny?
Enjoy life again and break through those issues that have held you back?


Spiritual Balance Coaching is a dynamic but gentle approach that doesn't tell you what to do but guides you to what is meant for you through your own intiution and through accessing universal knowledge to enhance your understanding and tap into what your soul has been trying to tell you.

What happens in the sessions?

Every session is one to one over Skype or phone and lasts for an hour and a half. These are longer sessions that normal because I believe that the time we spend together is precious and needs to be offered with plenty of time to work through the various issues, thoughts and feelings without leaving you without the answers you seek for too long. Most coaching sessions are 45 mins to an hour and sometimes this is just not long enough to explore and also to apply the exploration in a meditation or a reading. The sessions will be created together according to what is best for you. We would normally start with a session to understand where you are right now, with me listening carefully to what you are feeling and what it is that you want to achieve and perhaps a card reading to better understand the deeper issues that may be at play. I will then mix a personalised Bach Flower Remedy for you and send it to you in the post for you to take throughout the time we are working together. Each session is designed to transform you and bring you to a deeper understanding of your blueprint for the soul.

How Much Does it Cost?

I ordinarily offer these sessions for £200 a time but I have decided to open 5 spaces for 5 people to have a block of 5 sessions with me. The cost for all 5 sessions is £550 and includes all materials, your Bach Flower Remedy, Card Readings, Homework, Support Materials, Recordings of our sessions and email support between sessions. Remember all sessions are also 90mins. This is incredible value and I will only be offering it at this price for the first 5 people to take up the offer. I may open more spaces at a later date for this but the price will not remain at this level beyond the first five spaces.

How can I Secure my Sessions at this Price?

To ensure you get one of the 5 spaces you will need to pay a deposit of £200 straight away and book your regular time slot with me for the 5 sessions. The remaining amount is due before we start our first session but you can book it now, pay the deposit and then start when you are ready - the deposit secures your place at this special price but there is no need to start immediately if you are not ready to begin just yet.

I'm Ready to Secure my Place

To make sure you are one of the 5 please click here to secure your place and pay your deposit of £200 (via paypal) or in full if you would like to start straight away. To check if your preferred time and day is available for your sessions please email me on: info@lovelivingevents.co.uk

Love Nova xxx

Thursday 10 September 2015

The Feeling of Disconnection (and what to do to feel connected once again)



We all have times where we feel disconnected from the world around us, when we don't feel like we fit in to our lives anymore. When colleagues at work are no longer on our wave length or when we are reaching out for something different but have not yet found people of a similar mindset to connect with.

It can leave us feeling lonely and wondering if there is anyone who really 'gets' us anymore. When we change the people around us can suddenly appear to be estranged and that leaves us without a sense of belonging and the disconnection is deepened.

So when and why does disconnection occur? There are two MAIN (not the only), reasons why a feeling of disconnection can occur...

1) The most common reason for this is that your circumstances have changed. 

This can be a great thing sometimes...but it can feel strange, like you are entering a new world and leaving an old one but neither quite 'fits' where you are right now. A feeling of being between worlds is disconcerting like moving to a new area or new job but not knowing anyone yet. You are keen to meet the locals, to make friends, to fit in with everyone who seems to have known each other forever, you know it will happen over time but it is not there quite yet. You are the outsider and it feels very different to what you were used to in your previous job/community/family/life. You may have changed for many different reasons - a divorce, a death, loss of financial stability, having a baby, getting married, moving house, learning a new skill, even just opening up to a new way of thinking can temporarily make you feel disconnected.

2) The second reason is that maybe you have changed.

Perhaps you grew up in a community that knew you for being the rogue teenager and now that you are an adult with a serious job or a different set of beliefs you no longer feel like you can be accepted for the 'new' you. You are held back by your previous reputation or by the way people have seen you in the past. Perhaps you used to hide parts of who you are but now you are ready to accept them and integrate them but you feel that others would not be so accepting, they may laugh, they may not want to be your friend anymore, you may not even want them to be your friends anymore either. Perhaps you have changed because you have a child and most of your friends are not ready for babies yet, or maybe you had a baby older than them and their children are all much older? It could even be something like you have lost a lot of weight and no longer feel that you are supported because people are suddenly jealous of you, perhaps you got a great job and went into a different pay bracket and others are not as happy for you as you thought they might be?


Staying in a state of disconnection can lead to depression and anxiety, perhaps you are already there and want to know how to get out of it again - So what can you do about any of these reasons for disconnection and how can you reconnect with life and feel that joy and deep sense of belonging in life again? 

Here are my top tips for recreating a sense of connection with the world again. I know that once you are feeling disconnected it can take enormous effort to undertake any suggestion at all and you might even wonder whether it is worth it, whether you are worth it...but feeling good again is ABSOLUTELY worth the effort (even if you really have to force yourself - go on be tough on yourself and have a word).

  • Remember that you are not the only one. We all go through times of feeling disconnected, some more than others but even the most confident of people, the most self assured, go through times of feeling like they are essentially alone or that they don't quite fit into their own life. You may not see it but you are absolutely not the only person feeling this way right now (far from it).
  • Release some Oxytocin - this is our feel good hormone and when levels are low it can create a feeling of general 'God this is shit and so am I'. To increase your levels of Oxytocin couldn't be easier...hugging, sex, laughing, exercise, looking at someone you love, feeling the grass under your feet and remembering the present moment is all you have and need, play fighting, dancing around to loud music...whatever makes you feel good is going to release Oxytocin and whatever releases Oxytocin will make you feel good.
  • Write it down or talk it out. Sometimes its better out than in...just the act of scribbling your thoughts down (however messy, silly or shouty they come out) can help to get the thoughts into a new perspective and just out of your head. You can then either keep it, analyse it, burn it or forget it. It's not important what you do with it, just get it out of your head and find a way of expressing how you are feeling. Talk to someone, tell someone how you are feeling, even if it's in an online group you belong to - watch how many others are feeling just the same way too. 
  • Remember nothing lasts. That feeling of disconnection will not last, it can't because you are not really ever disconnected. You are the water droplet that makes up the wave, you cannot ever really be apart you can only mis-remember and feel like you are..but that won't always be the case...it will pass.
  • Get out and about. Go for a drive, phone a friend, go for a walk, talk to someone new, join a new group, volunteer, offer to help the neighbours, post something helpful online, reach out...reach out for a hand and be willing to be the help that reaches out to another...we all need that...every last one of us. 
  • Look for inspiration. What has helped you in the past when you have felt this way? What has been unhelpful? What does your heart tell you to do? What does your heart tell you you are missing and how can you go about finding that? What book catches your eye? What kind of new person would you like to meet? Inspire your imagination, feel excited about what this feeling can bring you in terms of new inspiration.
  •  You are not lost, you are hiding. Don't hide who you are, if you have changed then that's ok, if your circumstances have changed that's ok too - it's ok because it is so, what you do next is the key. The moment you stop hiding you are no longer lost.
If you need someone to talk to, to find a way to feel connected again, to reach out and ask for help then please know that you can have a discovery call with me for free. Maybe you will decide it's not for you, that's ok, but in the meantime it might really help and it won't cost you a thing. It's 30 mins of just you and me, looking at where you are and where you want to be. The link below takes you to a page where you can book a slot online or email me to find out more and/or book your slot. Don't keep your happiness waiting...

Book a Discovery Call

 Love Nova xxx


Wednesday 9 September 2015

'The World Will be Saved by the Western Woman' True?



This is a fairly long post (with no selling or anything added in)...but stick with me...I think it will be worth it....

So this powerful quote was recited to me by a man called James Blacker who I met the other night, it stuck with me and I looked at why it struck such a chord. Here is the quote:

'The world will be saved by the Western woman' Dalai Lama

Maybe I just liked the idea of women  being the ones to save the world, maybe I am being sexist, maybe I am forgetting my political correctness and forgetting that we are all equal. On the other hand I really wanted to explore the idea and why it may be true, perhaps you would like to explore it too...in which case read on and let me know what you think.

Why the Western Woman? The Western woman is the woman who feels free to make choices in a way that other women in other parts of the world are not. Women also have an energy (as do men when they allow it) that comes at conflict in a different and perhaps more nurturing way. So as Western women...what can we take from this and why make it our mission?

Let's look for a moment at what is going on in our world. The internet is awash with images of people here and abroad enduring unbelievable hardship, abuse, fear and neglect. I despair at those who can see the faces of these people or hear their words or read their thoughts and feel nothing more than a passing or fleeting thought of - poor thing. Then I realised that maybe I am one of those people too - I can talk a good talk and be quite vocal about why we should be more active in our actions to help others (from any country and any walk of life - this is not a post about refugees, even though I suppose that is the issue seen most often at the moment), but what am I actively doing to help? Well this blog post is my start...

I think that comes down to the fact that whilst we can care, feel bad, want to reach out and help there are some fundamental things that hold us back:

1) We don't really know what to do to help, either because there are too many options - shall I donate money, clothing, go out and find these children and take them home with me? How do I choose who to help?

2) Even with there being many options we feel there may be too many barriers - will my actions actually help much? If it helps will it help the 'right' children/people/families? Will I have to give up too much time to be able to do right by my own family if I take time out to help another? Will it cost too much? Do I have enough myself? Will there be legal or moral barriers there?

3) We always think that someone else will do it - someone else is already donating time/money/resources so I don't really need to. I'm not the best person to help anyway.

4) We don't fundamentally see it as our problem - the problems of another are not our problems, we have enough problems of our own, we should sort those out first before we help another.

5) We see ourselves as separate - that is not OUR world, that is not OUR family, that is not OUR way of doing things.

6) We fear what may happen - if we help someone out and they turn out to be damaged goods who can spread their different views, beliefs, way of seeing the world, evil thoughts and general 'different-ness' around and we might not like the consequences of that. Why invite trouble into our sights, our country, our home, our thinking?

If we are to be truly powerful then do we do this quietly? Ferociously, with fear in our hearts of what will happen if we do or don't act? In small consistent ways? By ignoring it and hoping for the best? By rallying support and shouting louder? By going out to people and talking to them? By petitioning the government? By appealing online to peoples better nature and hoping they will do the work for us? HOW? 


I am reminded of a quote that I used to keep on the front of one of my school files when I was about 14 I wrote the quote in big letters and deliberately displayed it despite the bad language. It said 'Fighting for Peace is like Fucking for Virginity' the two are opposed and incompatible. We cannot fight in order to end fighting, we cannot continue to spread more fear in order to end the fear that already exists. Writing things on Facebook like 'we have to stop these people who spread racisim - who's with me to fight these bastards?' is not doing anything other than fighting your fear by spreading it to others. How is that going to help? You are spreading your own form of fear - your fear of people who are racist, you have just done the one thing that you said you don't like about another!

So what is the answer? If we can't fight fear with fear and we can't cause peace through more fighting so how do we employ a different way that is just as powerful, just as impactive and just as immense as dropping bombs or spreading hate can be? Does the Western woman really have an approach that is better?


We have to arm ourselves with a different approach, one that we all have the capacity for, one that we all can be a part of - whether young, old, male, female, able bodied or disabled....we have to choose a different emotion, a different path from which we make our approach. You already know what it is, the question is how to use it well, wisely, without fear and in an impactful way.

I remember having a conversation with my son when he was very young, about 3 or 4 I think. He was obsessed at the time with soliders and the Zulu wars and the Battle of Waterloo. He talked about it a lot and one day he was talking about the 'goodies and the baddies' as children do. I asked him how he knew who the goodies were and who the baddies were. He replied that the goodies were the ones who were on our side. I asked him if he thought that those people who were on the side of the baddies called them baddies? He thought about it a while and said he didn't know.

We had a conversation about how if the baddies were seen as goodies by the people on their side then everyone thought they were on the 'right' side and that the other side were 'bad' so how do we know who is right and who is wrong? It was a complex thought for him and he struggled to answer but I wanted him to think about how we look at things from an early age and decide that there is always a good side and a bad side and that in the main we feel that whatever side we are on is the 'good' one.

There was a video not long ago being passed around on the internet of a lady called Brigitte Gabriel who took to task a Muslim student who said that all Muslims were being portrayed badly. Whilst we do tend to generalise and there is a fear around the radical Muslims who seem hell bent on killing Westerners because we do not fit their religious agenda - this lady (Gabriel) had a fantastic point - The peaceful majority are irrelevant. Yes the majority of Muslims are peaceful, yes the majority of Germans were peaceful in the second world war, yes the majority of Japanese and Chinese and Russians are peaceful, the majority of the West are peaceful and everyone in-between...but the peaceful majority are irrelevant...what we are all against (whatever 'side' you are on) are those who we percieve are not peaceful, those we feel are out to harm, to destroy, to kill, to maim, to injure, to hurt, to punish. We can all unite on this and this was Gabriels point - if you are a citizen of this world and you feel that the Muslim radicals are tarnishing your reputation or giving your beliefs a bad name then tell that to THEM unite to speak out against this...do not tell those who are also opposed that you do not like their opposition because you are a Muslim too and you are not radical - that is totally irrelevant.

So we need to have an opinion, we need to decide what is right according to our own values and beliefs, what is wrong and why we oppose it. We have to have a code to live by and we also need to look at how we act in the face of what we oppose.

How do we react in a way that is impactive without becoming another person spreading hate in the world? 


My thoughts on this are the following:

1) Know what you believe is right and why

2) Educate yourself to the true facts - all this fury over benefit fraud for example - did you know that the truth is that according to Government reports £1.2bn was lost to benefit fraud in 2013/14. £1.5bn was NOT paid out to those who are eligible but did not claim and £34bn was lost due to people not paying as much tax as they should. The truth is not that is it the poorest in our society causing us the greatest economic problems at all but they are vilified as human scum and those who are running a business but not paying the correct amount of tax are causing us a huge loss as a country. What you make of this is up to you - these are just the reported facts.

3) Educate others to enable them to come to their own conclusions - whilst sticking to the facts, not just offering your personal opinion, trust that others can understand just as well as you.

4) Offer space for discussion - when was the last time you truly listened to an opinion you didn't like? Open your mind to another possibility, after all we all think we are on the side of the 'goodies' maybe the 'baddies' have an insight to offer us that might help us find a way to create a peaceful solution.

4) Decide what the most loving way would be to end the 'wrong' that you see in your world - Remember fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

5) Stop generalising - look at your prejudices and ask yourself whether you have generalised them, then look for examples where you know this not to be true. Yes, there are people who we will consider are bad (I'm not a fan of Hitler) but does that mean all people who are German, Named Adolf and who talk about the Jews in a derogatory way about to try and kill them all?

6) When you fear that your generalisations are correct make an effort to challenge them productively - so my last example of the German man called Adolf is someone who you may fear...you fear that they are just a little too similar to that other Adolf...you fear that their same prejudices will result in something bad happening and you want to stop them in their tracks...you start to shout at them, tell them that they are wrong, that they are evil or whatever...you kick them with your fear in the proverbial balls and they look at you and know that they are suddenly more powerful because you are afraid. You have not claimed any power, you have given it away. Instead, ask them questions - why do you feel that way? What examples have you had in your life where this has been real for you? Do you have any examples of when this was not true? Educate, challenge, question.

The job of the peaceful majority is not to remain irrelevant but to educate themselves and others, to be vocal about their beliefs to be prepared to do battle but with loving action and a sword far more powerful than that of the metal sheaf - with a razor sharp mind, a heart that comes from a loving place and a soul that seeks to speak to the good in human nature not to the illusion of winning over the world...but of winning the hearts of every person who is ready to stop fighting.

I will leave you with one more quote: 

“Then the Warrior realizes that these repeated experiences have but one aim: to teach him what he does not want to learn.”
Paulo Coelho, Warrior of the Light  

What is it that we as humans do not want to learn? And what will we do about it?   

Love Nova xxx

Tuesday 8 September 2015

The Tao and Truth of Failure (and how I failed)




How many failures have you had in your life? Me? I've had lots...lots and lots. 


  • I was a failure as a prospective wife - we got engaged, had a child and then he had an affair with someone even younger than me - I was only 25 and he was already 18 years my senior. I am 37 now and never been married even though I had always very much wanted that to be a part of my life.

  • I was a failure as a provider - my son's father didn't contribute a bean for six years after we split up and I was as broke as they come. I left with nothing and no job (I had helped my fiance build his business and worked in his Juice Bar for about a year before we split and therefore could not keep my job). I rented a house in a small village for my son and I that was so small he couldn't fit a full sized single bed in his room and I couldn't fit anything other than a bed in mine (not complaining though, we loved that house!). I paid the rent through housing benefit and my friend gave me £1000 to buy a car as my car went as well when the relationship ended (I couldn't afford the finance on it any longer). I retrained as a teacher on an unqualified teachers salary and we muddled by but overall I failed to be the mother and provider I wanted to be.

  • I was a failure as a writer - I wrote a novel in my spare time, I put my heart and soul into it and although I sold about 2000 copies many of those were heavily discounted as a marketing 'ploy'. I now only sell maybe one a month and the profit is only about 50p per copy. 

  • I was a failure as a business woman - I ran a magazine for parents of young children when my son was first born and we were living abroad, that I started from scratch. I taught myself design and layout, sold the advertising space, wrote the articles, interviewed people, ran events, did the photography...everything. I won an award for the business plan I wrote for it as well and got lots of publicity as a result and Barclays Bank even made me an official referrer for anyone who opened an account with them to get their marketing plan written. It failed to make money though, in fact it just racked up debts, I was rubbish at selling the advertising space and that was how it made money - I fundamentally just wanted something that would make other mums feel better and more connected, not to be selling advertising.

  • I was a failure as a strong and powerful woman - I have such a passion for acting, I love it, it is in my bones and for a little while I wondered if I should actually give it a go. I had moderate success, I was cast in a couple of adverts, some short films, did some narration and even got nominated for a Best Actress award for a short that showed in the cinema. I also though met a devious small time Director who raped (I hate that word and it being associated with me, it's the first time I have ever used it) me and another girl and was investigated by the police and it all got rather horrible and I don't really ever talk about it. I failed to stop him, to report him (I only did so when I found out he had done it to another girl who was younger than me and I wanted to protect her). I failed to be strong. 

  • I was a failure as a mother - I have one, beautiful and amazing son, I love him like my heart could burst. I also had another child though...a child created accidentally with a man who I didn't love and didn't want to be with and who was distinctly creepy (as it turned out...it didn't start that way obviously). I didn't want my existing child to always have to have this man in his life because we had a child together or to be around him at all - I chose my existing child over my unborn child and I had an abortion. I saw my unborn and unknown child on a scan before it happened, at nine weeks - they hadn't realised I was having an abortion and thought I would want to see. I cried, I said sorry, I said goodbye, I grieved and I punished myself endlessly. I still hold my stomach some days and talk to them to apologise again and again and again. I failed to look after my unborn child, I failed to care for them no matter what the circumstances...I failed as a mother.

  • I was a failure at being a lifestyle coach - I wanted to be showing photos of how well I was doing, how I was enjoying a lavish and wonderful lifestyle, I wanted to lie and pretend that all was amazing and that I had never made so much money in my life. But it wasn't true..even though I contribute to several magazines, have a twice weekly radio show and have run some great events I still spend a lot of time working day in day out at a computer screen, designing stuff, marketing stuff, creating stuff and sometimes I'm in my PJ's till about 11am just doing stuff to keep the dream alive and to keep some resemblance of a proper business running ...I'm not looking glam and supping herbal tea as a take another selfie of how amazing I look (although believe me I still want to be that person some days). I also don't earn a lot of money still, some months I have earned nothing at all.

  • At the end of the day I had to take a long look at who I was and what I wanted and what I was doing all this for because I came to the rather hopeless looking conclusion that I was a total and utter failure at being me - I have spent most of my life moulding myself to the right job, the right image, the right words, the right way of being, the projection that looked the best to others and I got tired...actually, I am tired, I am tired right now still of trying to hold true to an image that is not me. 

The me that I really am enjoys nothing more than a Friday night at my local pub with my son playing with his friends out in the large pub garden, having a few glasses of wine with the groups of friends that can be found there most weekends and relaxing and talking about utter crap.

I like to sing and dance like a loon - I like to kick my shoes off at a party and get onto the dancefloor and just chuck myself around a bit. I like to sing loudly and proudly with the force of Beyonce when I am alone and the windows are up in my car.

I like to have the time in the day to relax and chat with my son when he finishes school each day instead of him waiting until 7pm when I would come home weary from a day in London just in time to immediately cook him dinner and get him in the bath.

I like to create new possibilities and new ways of looking at things for myself and for others - I have a deep belief and unending belief that somewhere in among all my failures is a suggestion of where success lay for me and for others too, I feel it is a journey that has been a wonderful teacher and has given me so many gifts. This is what I bring to others - I can see the gift in them when they have lost all sight of where they are going.

So I decided that whatever happens next for me...whether I leave Coaching and get a 'proper' job or whether I continue along this path, the important thing is to be completely authentic from now on.

I read something this morning

'..that the opposite of a correct statement is a false

statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may

well be another profound truth'.


Niels Bohr


 So my profound truth is that in many ways I am a failure but it is also a profound truth that I have not failed too. A divine dichotomy if you will. Whilst I failed to be a mother to one child, I succeeded in protecting another, whilst I failed to be strong as a woman, I succeeded in moving through a painful event in a way that no one would ever have known anything had happened. Whilst I failed to make the magazine work, I succeeded at learning a huge amount that most people never learn to do for themselves.

In the face of every failure there is a success - the two co-exist and therefore neither really exists at all...there is no success or failure, only a life to live and love to give and a choice of how you face the world.

I am your Coach who is not perfect, who has failed and who has succeeded at the same time. I would like to Coach you, to hear you and not judge you and to help you realise the nuggets truth in your heart so that you can speak from that part of you and change your world and the world around you. 

Love Nova xxx





Wednesday 2 September 2015

Follow your Dreams (without letting others put you off)

www.lovelivingevents.co.uk




It's really easy for people who are not putting themselves at any risk to suddenly have an opinion on the risk that you are taking. They may not ever have gone self-employed, never reached for the life they truly wanted, never found the guts to follow their dreams, but they sure think they know far more than you and believe strongly that you should listen to their advice!

It's not that you shouldn't listen to advice, or take criticisms on board, or learn to be objective about your ideas...you should. The thing you don't want to do though is to forget your own inner sense of what is right for you. No one else has to live your life, you do. So although someone else might feel that something is best for you, they will always have their own agenda to fulfill as well. They may not mean it to be negative or to put you off, they may genuinely feel they have your best interests at heart. But, if you feel that it contradicts what you know to be true in your heart, listen to your heart instead, it probably knows best.

If you find yourself with friends, family, colleagues who don't believe in you, who fill your head with the idea that you will fail or just that the likelihood is that you will fail then make a decision to stop listening to them and get into a place where you can hear what your soul is saying to you. Make your own mind up, follow your own journey, make your own mistakes. Yes, maybe it won't work first time, second time, or even the 100th time - but that's the beauty of mistakes, of learning, of trying. Think of how much more you will have experienced in your life just by attempting things, by doing what so many people are afraid to do and giving it a go!

Who do you want to be? The person who tries but sometimes fails or the person that never tried in the first place? Ask any of the most successful people who have ever lived if they ever experience failure...they all did. The difference was they carried on anyway, they refined, they made changes, they may have done something else entirely but they didn't just say 'oh, you're right, I'm no good, I'll just stop'. Ask Henry Ford if he ever listened to nay sayers, ask Edison if he gave up on the light bulb just because the first 10,000 attempts didn't work, ask Rowling if she gave up on Harry Potter after numerous rejections.

Listen to those who have your back, the people who know what you are trying to achieve and why, the people who really know what they are talking about because they have done it. You may not even like what they have to say but at least they will be talking from experience.

Staying positive is key to making things work for you Start by being positive about yourself:

 You are brilliant, you are brave, you are exciting and you are worth the life that you want. 

Never sell yourself short by thinking that you are less worthy than anyone else who has made changes in their lives...we are all capable of this, not just a chosen few...and those who have done it have had doubts too, times where they thought it might not happen or came across setbacks...the only thing that sets them apart is that they kept on trying until it worked and never gave up.

You can DO IT!!

 If you would like to find out more about your own life purpose you can join our workshop on the 23rd September....click here to find out more about this fantastic event.

Why not spend the day, just you and me in wonderful, luxurious surroundings to find out what you want to do, how you can do it and work through the things that stop you from achieving all that you want. Find out more about my VIP Luxury Intensive days here. You can use these days for absolutely any issue you want to work through, or to get a business idea off the ground (did you know I am an award winning business planner?!)

To get your FREE 30 page workbook so you can do some coaching in your own time and for free, please click here and get started today!

Want to ask me more? Book a free discovery call with me and we can do some coaching together to help you find out how to love your life!

Love Nova xxx

Tuesday 1 September 2015

Five Powerful (and simple) Changes to Make in September



So September marks the start of Self Improvement Month in America and it's not hard to see why September would be a great month for this to take place! The children go back to school, the seasons start to change and the time for holidays is coming to a close again...we are starting to reassess and see where this year has taken us.  So how can you make this an amazing month for you? Here are my top five powerful changes you could make this month. They may not sound amazing, or even particularly interesting but trust me...they are very powerful and so simple to implement when it comes to changing your life to one you love to live.

Try them out for the next 30 days and see for yourself...

1) Help someone

Not only does helping another bring relief to another, a smile to another and possibly some much needed support but it helps you too! It is a proven way to increase your own sense of self worth and to bring positive feeling into your body and mind. Helping another needn't be a big deal, just saying something genuine and complimentary can change someones day for the better. I saw a Facebook post today where someone had noticed a girl with her head down on her way into work and she stopped to tell her that she really liked her blouse and told her how pretty she looked and the girl lifted her head and went off looking much happier than before - that's powerful stuff right there and it didn't take a second, it didn't involve money or any investment of self, but it probably vastly improved the girls day and it obviously boosted the women who gave the compliment because she had mentioned it on Facebook. Everyone wins.

2) Set a routine

Routines used to bore me to death, I thought it was unimaginative, dull and conformist to create a routine for life...but, over the last few years I have noticed how a routine can help me to form habits that really make a huge difference, not only to how much I can get done in a day but also how I feel. I feel more in control, more at the helm of my own destiny and I also know that it is actually a way of giving myself a gift of time and investment on my own improvement. The difference is that my routine is now of my choosing, I have made choices based on what I want to achieve and therefore it doesn't feel dull it feels magical! Before I would base my routine around other people and therefore felt that it couldn't change - it could and it did, just as soon as I realised that there were things I did that I didn't need to do and other things that I could do differently.

3) Read more (learn more)

I love to read, I have bookshelves full of non fiction on everything from String Theory to Angels and I have read them all, some several times. My knowledge and understanding expands daily and although I don't have the kind of memory that can reel off facts and figures, I do have the kind of mind that gets the bigger picture and can pull things together across different disciplines to find the common factors - which I LOVE to do! For a list of my top ten recommendations on books that can change your life, you can read my post here Whatever you love to learn about, why not try to do this more and regularly (you don't have to read if you struggle with this, listen to them on Audio Book or watch TED talks). Do something in September that widens your view of the world and expands your consciousness about lots of different things. Take a course, work through a book, talk to someone whose views are different to yours...learn, learn, learn.

4) Meditate

Meditation is one of those things that people often think is a waste of time, it takes too long, it is too hard to clear your mind (who EVER has a clear mind) etc etc. It is though a very powerful and relaxing activity that actually doesn't have to take more than about 6 minutes...although I would recommend taking longer than that if you can. It changed my life when I first started meditating about 11 years ago. I have a meditation you can download as part of my 'Your Ultimate Journey to Dazzling Self Respect' if you want one to get you started. It is the same one that I have been using for over a decade, it is very simple, doesn't have to take long at all and doesn't require a great deal of visualisation experience either...give it a go and watch things change for you.

5) Walk

My partner and I have started going for walks regularly, just the two of us because we both recognised that during these times we had great chats, we came up with great ideas and it was an opportunity to reconnect after a busy day too. I will often go out for walks with my son as well and inevitably we get lost in a wood somewhere (last week we got a bit lost, got soaked in the rain and ended up having to climb a tree and jump over a fence to get back to the car!) but we always have the most interesting and revealing chats at these times. I walk alone too when I need to refresh my mind, let go of something, feel happier or just to move my body a bit after a day of Coaching. Walking cost's nothing, it gives the mind new surroundings in which to work through problems and it gives you a mental and physical boost, try walking for the purpose of just exploring - both your environment and your mind.

So...five very simple changes that you could make in September that can make a real and powerful difference if you implement them and follow them...what other changes could you make? Would you like to make even bolder changes this school year? Would you like to talk about those things you want to improve or reach for in a FREE 45 min Discovery Call? Who knows what this year could bring for you if you make that decision that you are committed to your own life and want to make it the best it can be...don't keep your happiness waiting! 


Love Nova xxx