Tuesday 10 February 2015

It only takes a second for life to change...


A year can change everything...in fact it only takes a couple of seconds for your world to change and this can happen without any warning or expectation. This has really been relevant for me this last year and is why I have neglected this blog for so long. For the next few blog entries I want to focus on the idea of change and how it affects us both personally and in business, drawing on some of the things that I have experienced over the last 12 months...

We as human beings generally expect things to stay the same, a depressing thought when things aren't looking good and a wonderful thought when things are going well. The truth though, is that we will always experience change, you can rely on that far more than a notion that life will remain as it is - it is a wonder then that we dismiss the unlikely so readily, that we make assumptions based on the wrongful idea that life is static.

Think back to how many times you have received a phone call offering you the job - life brightened up and changed in an instant. How many times you have planned to go somewhere only to get stuck behind a slow moving lorry and missed the main event - plans changed in an instant. These small examples that most of us have had, where one small thing has totally changed what we expected to happen are no different really to the big things.

This year I have relocated to a different part of the country, fallen in love, come scarily close to dying and earned more money than I ever have before. There is not one of these things that I expected to happen this year, I expected that life would mostly stay the same, as most of us do. What I DID know, is that I wanted things to change, I just didn't know how they could, I didn't see any way that they would, it didn't seem possible. Now I'm not at all saying that I wanted to have the experience of being in danger of popping off this mortal coil (which to be fair is an everyday experience for us all if you count the ways we might die at any moment from the point we jump out of bed) but it did leave me with a strong sense of what I like to call a 'sod it' mentality that has changed things for me in more ways than one and forms the basis of this first 'change' themed entry....

If I could die without really having lived I was wasting my time here, I would have lived with worry about bills and who said what to who and whether I was too fat and then, I would be gone...what on earth was I thinking? Wouldn't I rather have a fantastic time here first? What was I waiting for? Why was I putting aside enjoying life to a certain, non-determinable point in time when the scene was set ready for it? As I sat in my hospital bed I knew that I was being very stupid, that I truly did only have one life, that one day that life really would be over and that it could be over at any time - there was only one thing that really mattered in that case, living whilst I had the chance.

The truth is not that I came out of hospital with some completely different head on my shoulders, I still worry about little things that don't really matter....the fact was that I didn't die, I got better with the same speed with which I fell ill and that was enough to result in a certain amount of 'did that ever really happen? Let's just go back to normal'. Laziness kicked in as the threat to my life melted away. That's ok, it would be hard to be human (and have responsibility towards others) and still constantly have fun and have a carefree attitude.What did happen though, was that I came out with a good yard stick for measuring the importance I place on things in my life. Would it have mattered if I had died without losing a stone? No. Would it have mattered if I had died without having ever owned an Aston Martin? regrettable perhaps...but no, it would not have mattered. So what would have mattered? These things, the things that I truly knew would have mattered to me if I had died without doing or saying them, are my yard stick to measure decisions and happiness by.

Below is my list of things I would really have regretted....

  • If I had died having had an argument with someone I love and not having made things right. I try now to resolve differences quickly, to not dwell on arguments, to let things go. I would far rather be loving than be right.
  • If I had died without those people I love, knowing that I love them. Sometimes just telling someone is not enough - I try to find a way of showing that I love those close to me as often as I can so they have memories to look back on that leave them secure in the knowledge of 'yes, I do love you'.
  • If had died without realising how wonderful my life already was and truly enjoying that life. I may not have all the things I imagined I would have by now, but I do have a wonderful life, a life full of the best people, the best of times and in the place I love the most. I look after those things with greater care than I have ever done before because I know how precious they are and how lucky I am to have them.
  • If I had died without ever making an effort to have the life I want - if I had died and never got there it would have been a shame but it would have been far more of a shame if I had never even tried. 
 I still argue with people I love of course, I still feel like being selfish rather than doing something for someone else sometimes, I still find dissatisfaction in my day to day life occasionally and I still don't always bother to make as much effort as I should....however...I argue less, I show I love and care more, I am grateful every day for the life I have and I try more than I did to work towards greater things. I have a way to measure how well I am living up to what is important to me.

What things would really be important should your life change in a second? Will you regret that extra slice of cake? Probably not (unless the cake is the direct culprit of your demise)...Will you regret storming off without saying goodbye to someone you love? God, yes...

Love Nova xxx