Looking into the Mirror of Depression

Life is very clever...it sends us information all the time about what is going on for us and one of the quickest and clearest ways to understand that information is to look at what is going on externally in order to also understand our internal world.

This means that if you are struggling to understand why you are feeling depressed or what factors are keeping you in a state of depression you can look to your outside experiences for clues.

This is such a useful tool that I recommend it more than any other to my clients - if you want to understand yourself or your state of mind better, look to the outside world as a reflection of the inside and you will see the areas that are causing you pain. Once you know this you can choose to work on them or to change them - that is, to work on you and to change you.

Imagine your life as a huge mirror, imagine that every part of your life is a reflection of a part of you, that every interaction, every event, every person and everything you notice is in some way telling you something about yourself and examine it.

This is not as crazy as it sounds and it can be incredibly insightful for you if you are willing to use it as a tool.

Let me give you an example: 

You know that you are having the experience of depression and you are ready to move out of that and into another state of mind - perhaps this desire is reflected in your life by you wanting to move house, to change relationships, to explore another country or to take a weekend away. You are literally wanting to change state (i.e location) and your mind is telling you this through your desire to remove yourself from a situation you are in. It is, in reality yourself that you want to change but if you are unaware of this you can instead create the desire for change in another more recognisable way, by having the thoughts of 'I need to get away', 'I need space from this', 'I need a fresh start'.

Another example might be: 

You are experiencing a lot of conflict in your life with other people, it seems that wherever you go you are finding disagreement, separateness and isolation. This is more often than not an indication of an internal conflict in you, perhaps you are conflicted because you are feeling one thing and doing another or that you are not expressing yourself authentically - you are not being you.

Perhaps there is a sense of isolation because you are internally isolating a part of you that you do not like and ignoring it - that part of you that you don't like will also be reflected in the people you meet that you do not like - what you dislike in them is likely to be the same thing that you dislike about yourself and are ignoring or failing to deal with.

How are you experiencing those closest to you? 

Are those close to you acting distant or as though they don't care or that they are not listening to you anymore? Where are you not listening to yourself or others? Where are you not caring about yourself? What part of you have you become distant from?

What feels uncomfortable? 

When we are affected by the behaviour of another we are being shown a behaviour that we are uncomfortable with in ourselves. When we find someones behaviour unacceptable it is often because we are being shown where we need to step up - if someone is bullying you, where have you become the victim? Where are you the bully of your own life? When someone is confusing you with their 'now I love you, now I don't' behaviour where are you not being consistent in your own life and behaviours? When someone is not committed to you, where are you not committed to yourself?

Our lives are reflections of our thoughts and behaviours - what is being reflected to you? What does your mirror tell you about what might be going on on the inside? 

Try this Exercise and See what it can reveal to you!:

I like to get clients to pull a big sheet of paper and to draw a big mirror shape - then outside the mirror I ask them to write all the things that they have been annoyed by recently, all the things that have upset them, the people who they have not got on with, the events that have not gone to plan, the things they want to change etc. 

Then inside the mirror shape they take each of the statements on the outside and examine them again as though they were a reflection of themselves and ask that they consider what all the possibilities are for how this could be reflecting what is going on inside them. Even the things that at the moment they don't think are relevant. We then work together on building up a picture that shows them all that they needed to know...it is a very powerful process and results in a large number of 'lightbulb' moments! 

Worth a thought? 

For more support and insights into life, love and everything come and find your Positive Potential in the Facebook Group where you will find like minded people and where you can get lots of coaching and support for free by asking your questions to me! Come and join us now!

Love Nova xxx